Kerry is a gorgeous woman who gifts the world her whole self, living life to make a potent impact on her community. Kerry is the first to arrive with home baked goodies if she gets a sniff of anyone in need. She has faced tragedy and such great loss nursing her husband back to health after a terrible accident only to then lose him to brain cancer.
She has used all of these challenges to help others building the charity, Beyond Brilliant Foundation, to support those facing brain cancer. (Link to Kerry's foundation -https://beyondbrilliant.org/)
She is a truly phenomenal woman who always has a smile and warm hug to brighten your day. Although Kerry spends her time loving everyone around her in bucket loads she didn’t have that for herself. You see there were things holding Kerry back from really loving her WHOLE self. It was only when Kerry understood what this was, and HOW to overcome it, that she truly uncovered her gorgeous self!!
SO what was holding Kerry back?
Kerry said she remembers being told from a young age that she was very pretty but it was always backed up with comments such as “ if you could just lose weight on your legs”. So the story for Kerry became that pretty was not enough, that her legs were not enough, that she was not enough.
Throughout Kerry’s life the theme has continued with comments such as “ You have has such a small waist, if only you could lose a little off your bottom!” and “ You certainly have a good size bottom!”
Kerry explains how this made her feel.
“I feel deflated and angry when someone else points out my weight, bum and/or legs. Why do you think that I’m not good enough, when I think I am?”
“This made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for the job, the boyfriend, that I would always only be mediocre!”
These stories Kerry received over her lifetime planted a seed of self-loathing. Even though Kerry wanted to love who she was, she kept swallowing these stories, and so she struggled to really let herself shine. She struggled to truly express herself
With all these stories on board Kerry looked in the mirror, through her self- loathing looking glass, wanting to love herself yet unable to as she focused on the parts of herself she believed were not enough. Leaving her dressing to hide her legs, bottom and worst of all, hide herself.
You see the stories we hear about how we look create the stories we take into our day and into our life. If you are getting dressed in the morning thinking about not being enough, that is the woman you take into your day.
Kerry’s main problem was overcoming the chatter about her body shape and weight. She has been through enough to know that these are surface issues, she knew life was to be lived and more than that, life should be enjoyed!
So how did Kerry overcome her body image and self-esteem issues? How did she learn to let go of these negative stories of beauty?
When I met Kerry she was heavily focused on the areas of herself that others had been pointing out her whole life! When she got dressed and looked in the mirror she looked at her shit bits, she focused on how to cover them up. Whether those parts looked okay, all the while forgetting to look at her whole gorgeous self.
Once I explained to Kerry what I saw, and encouraged her to embrace her gorgeous shape she could start to see a different view of herself. She could see her WHOLE self! Once she learned how to dress to accentuate and celebrate her gorgeous self, she had a new perspective.
She also now understood the judgement coming from others was coming from the stories they had been told, and she could chose not to take that on.
“I started to listen to myself internally & really truly listen & hear what others are saying. To stop my mind from chattering & replaying old messages. I've chosen to stop listening to people talk about size & weight.”
After a session together Kerry explains how she feels with a new perspective.
“Thank you with every part of my heart. I was seriously looking to have stomach bypass surgery until today. Thanks for opening my heart to me. I feel like the me I always dreamt of feeling like. Proud to be me, beautiful, attractive and best of all worthy of others love and appreciation. Thanks Mandy, I love your philosophy it’s helped me to see me and love me!”
Once you make the choice to stop self-loathing and start self-loving you can really uncover the gorgeous woman you are underneath all the doubt, judgement and shame. Learning to use your style to activate self-love allows you to really express yourself. To really gift yourself the power to feel great about yourself, and take that woman into your day.
I asked Kerry how she feels now she has changed these stories.
“Now I feel more WHOLE, I feel that I truly am worthy & capable. I always knew this but I didn't believe it.”
And that’s the secret!! We can know that we are self-loathing and don’t feel great about ourselves, however the shift only happens when you find out how to change that. Once Kerry understood how to use her style to find the freedom to be her gorgeous self, she could see a different woman in the mirror. Finally she could see the amazingly gorgeous, worthy capable woman she is. Once she could see it, then she could begin to believe it.
I asked Kerry what being beautiful means to her now.
“I used to think it was about others seeing me as beautiful, now I realise being beautiful is not about what others think. To me it’s about being happy with yourself, a soft smile and really caring about others. Being beautiful comes from the inside. Now I am not afraid to let my inside shine out!”
It is when you can look in the mirror and believe you are gorgeous, and see the gorgeous woman you are looking back at you. THEN you can make peace with the mirror and really live a full life.
You were not born to dull your sparkle, to give a watered down version of yourself. You were born to shine. You were born perfectly imperfect gorgeous you all you have to do is love yourself WHOLE!
Thank you Kerry for sharing your story. I’m so glad you now see that you are so much more than mediocre.
To the gorgeous lady reading this, please know you are so much more than that too!
You see every woman is gorgeous, but sometimes we need reminding. We need to uncover who we really are, instead of worrying so much about what we’ve been told were not!
Go look for your gorgeous, it's there waiting to be discovered!
Mandy Hargreaves - Founder Finding Gorgeous